2 posts tagged “clothing”
While I was in Florida, in the area where the show Nip/Tuck was supposed to take place (before they jumped the shark and moved to L.A.), I discovered that even the mannequins are bigger and more "beautiful."
Last week's episode of "Project Runway" went "green," challenging the designers to create dresses by using environmentally-safe fabrics. Because my knowledge of world events doesn't go much beyond little Vivienne and Knox Leon, I wasn't entirely aware of what dyes in fabrics can do to human beings as well as the environment (i.e. seeping into our waterways). After further research and a harsh schooling from my sister, I started to wonder about my clothing choices and the pollution I've caused from the dyes in my wardrobe (which mostly consists of t-shirts).
For example, how much of a river did I contaminate with my "I like your boyfriend" purple tee? Or even with my "Lost Girl: Dysfunctional Designs?" I'll never know for sure.
But then this got me thinking about a different kind of pollution my t-shirts have caused: Message Pollution. I own a "Future Celebrity" t-shirt. Granted, it was a gift, but I've never thought of myself as a "future celebrity," much less a "future" anything. I also own a 1981 Bowling Champs t-shirt. I've never even won a bowling match (are they even called matches?), nor was I alive in '81. I've realized that most of my t-shirts consist of messages I can't live up to, expectations I'll never meet. "I Shot J.R. Ewing." The world knows I didn't. I'm an impostor.
However, any time I go to an event that attracts a wide range of people (like a concert or a Larry the Cable Guy show), I see tons of people with "message t-shirts." These shirts always support "attitude" or the body. Ironically, the people who typically wear these shirts have neither. Thus, I've come to the conclusion that the "message t-shirts" people wear really represent the misgivings people have about themselves. All these years when I've been wearing my "What's up, Fool?" tee, I've really been masking how white I am. When I wore a "Joe Mamma" shirt to a college bar, I was really pretending that I understood why this was supposed to be funny. When I wore a tee that said, "What are we going to do about the United States?," I was faking that I had enough knowledge about politics to actually make the observation.
It isn't my fault, though. It's America's clothing's fault. The basic white tee has gone the way of the wastebasket. Having a phrase on your chest can be so damn cute! Many clothing web sites like Delia's or Busted tees make a lot of their sales through the purchase of these catchy, "fad-phrase" tees like, "That's how I roll" (with a picture of a kid doing a somersault) or "I put out" (with a picture of a fire extinguisher). If you don't have something sprawled across your chest, you almost look naked!
Don't get me wrong. Some of the phrases are funny. But a lot of them are just plain dumb. Lately, I've laid awake at night, panicking over the number of t-shirts with mindless phrases on them. I can feel my heart start to beat faster as I wonder if eventually the planet will be overrun by "Brunettes do it better" (how can anyone really back up whether they do? The shirt should at least provide statistics on the back).
So I too (like Project Runway) am going "green," cleansing myself of Message Pollution. I'm looking more into solid colors or unique designs now. I've realized not everyone needs to know how "I rock New Jersey." Just ask me. I'll tell you.
