Starbucks Baristas: Saving the world one Olsen twin at a time
As a Starbucks barista, I pride myself in two things: my "beautiful foam" and more importantly, my "legendary service." The fact that I've never decked a customer, even after she made me remake her Venti nonfat, no foam, Chai latte three times (and took a sip out of it and said I didn't fill it to the top) makes me fucking Will Smith.
But some baristas go above and beyond "legendary." A couple of months back, a news story hit about a barista who donated a kidney to a customer. While I can't say that I've done this (my friend said of me, and I quote, "This isn't you. You'd let the bitch die"), more and more baristas are saving their customers' lives. Now Mary-Kate and Ashley are in the mix.
According to Gawker, one Starbucks barista would make the skinny-minny Olsen twins' lattes with whole milk in order to fatten them up. Wow. This barista might have saved their lives (those extra calories add up). Just imagine if the man at the deli would have put wheat bread in Mama Cass' ham sandwich. Or if Luther Vandross would have replaced the donut in a Luther burger with. . .well, nothing. Baristas are superheroes. Our capes are our green aprons. Our tights are our khaki pants. Our selflessness is our need to make more than minimum wage.
So way to go, baristas. Because of us, we can now expect a New York Minute 2: The Reckoning on the horizon.
